I am increasingly fascinated (and also slightly concerned) about the world of make believe my 4 year old seems to be living in. Months and months ago two imaginary friends, Luke and Judy appeared on the scene. From what I can ascertain they are both boys, they regularly have birthdays (and seem to increase and decrease in age!), they only eat sugar (!) and, on the whole, they are not very well behaved!
Since then they have become a regular and important part of her life. A lot of the time their behaviour seems to reflect her current or past behaviour. She takes on the role of ‘mummy’ through telling them off or telling them how to behave. At mealtimes they don’t like certain foods- she tells them they need to try new things. In the morning they don’t want get dressed – she tells them that they can’t wear their pyjamas all day. At bathtime they splash and misbehave – she tells them to calm down or they’ll have to get out of the bath. Most of her conversations with them seem to focus on their behaviour or what they like and don’t like. They are there, every day, many times a day. She sometimes seems to talk about them more than she does about real people.
It is quite bizarre hearing your words to your child being repeated from that child to her imaginary friends. It’s even stranger when I hear her younger sister asking her how Luke and Judy are!
Is this normal? I have no idea and don’t know if I should be concerned that they are such a focus in her life or relieved that she has an imagination and the things that I try and drum into her about her behaviour, which often seem to fall on deaf ears, are perhaps being absorbed. I have been given some reassurance recently that this is the age where imaginary friends are quite common so I will try not to worry too much and see how things go over the next few months – and in the meantime, I will try to avoid joining in and talking to them myself!
January 31, 2010 at 4:25 pm
When Holly was around that age she had an imaginary friend, although she didnt have a name for her, she was known as ‘her girl’ She was in our lives for many months and I did worry, but I was also assured that it was a stage that they go through.
I cant even remember when she disappeared. But for the few months she was with us it was very interesting listening to them playing. I agree with you, it is quite bizarre to hear your words coming out of a child.
Best of luck and send my love to luke and Judy.
January 31, 2010 at 5:24 pm
Apparently its normal and common and the advice is to go along and chat to them too. And lay them a place at the table.
January 31, 2010 at 7:35 pm
Thank you for the reassurance, it’s a whole new area of behaviour for me. As they only eat sugar (where does that come from?!!) including them at mealtimes shouldn’t be a problem!!
January 31, 2010 at 8:12 pm
Coswise dissolved in tears last week because I had turned round on the pavement and ‘knocked Big Scratch over’. I do find it difficult to know where the invisible imaginary friends are! Apparently Big Scratch is green and hairy, but I don’t know what he eats. I’ll find out….
February 1, 2010 at 2:15 pm
How can you not see Big Scratch when he is green abd hairy??? And, I’m assuming, big.
I’m feeling left out, just the four of us in our house. Maybe I should get an imaginary friend. Big Scratch sounds cool.
March 1, 2010 at 8:09 pm
My son developed imaginary friends at about 4 – he still has ‘his guys’ who live in Scotland most of the time but are also doing secret government work in ‘Game’ warehouse – its just a front! Recently he has also developed a new persona for himself. Part of the time he is him but when he has top secret missions to perform we have 4X2 the copy living with us. He regenerates in the wardrobe! So, yes I think (hope!) its normal and can last a while.